have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
