We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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