I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
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