At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Randomize
