we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
