Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Someone signed my nipple.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
