So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
What drink are we having for lunch?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
