bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Randomize
