Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
