You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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