How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
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