My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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