Sry I called you an 8
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
