I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Randomize
