no you cant smoke seaweed
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
