Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
