What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
