I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
