hell yes lets make some ravioli
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
