No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
