Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Enjoy the penises
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
