its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
