if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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