How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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