dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
