i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
