therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I just blew my weed a kiss
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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