Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
my being single is dangerous.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
