peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
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