I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
