look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
