Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
