What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
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