I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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