the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
