Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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