do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
