There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
