Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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