Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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