we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
they need to just BURY HIM!
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
