I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
Randomize
