People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
