that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
