i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
