If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
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