Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Who wears a wallet chain?!
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
