when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
