I'm so fucking centered right now
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
