That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
