well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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