So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
